One of the hardest decisions any teacher has to make....

Going on short-term medical leave was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.  I had gotten used to the chronic pain, the dizzy spells, the tremors, the brain fog, but I finally had to admit that my doctor was right and that it was time to take a break, get to a referral center and see specialists, and get better.  Turns out, getting better will take far longer than anticipated.  Years, even.

Over the last few years, my health has gotten worse and worse.  I did not know all of my diagnoses until recently (then again, there are still some loose ends), not for sure anyway, but in the end, several doctors agreed that I cannot stay in the classroom and be healthy.  So...I don't get to be a classroom teacher any more.  When the specialist told me that, I cried.  I still randomly cry just thinking about it, still grieve the loss of my students and colleagues.  Fibromyalgia and a few other things have taken that from me.

Turns out, though, that I'm not alone.  I have found a shadow community of disabled teachers, teachers working through chronic pain and chronic health conditions, teachers trying to teach through cancer and more, teachers who are hurting.  There are so many of us, though we tend to stay in the shadows, disappear when we go on leave, keep our stories to ourselves out of shame.

This blog is for all of us teacher warriors fighting pain, specialists, physical therapy, insurance companies, and even our districts, colleagues, administrators, and families.